X-Treme Sports - Nerdboppin'

Fuuuuck!!!!! That's all I gotta say bros actually I lied I gotta say alot more than FUCK because fuck, here at the OUUGH review we review alot of 100% bullshit games so you don't have to waste your time and bux. from board games masquerading as vidyo games to x-treme sports snowmobile sims that barely have any snowmobiles, we let you know the truth and i bet alot of you guys dont realize it, but we haev a really shitty job. I mean yea some of you nerds gotta lift boxes or do paperwork or whatever but me and halp are FORCED to play BULLSHIT VIDEO GAMES 24/7 just to make a living and it KINDA SUCKS JUST A LITTLe. I mean how would you feel if you had to play Sims Double just to pay your mortgage? its bullshit.

ok now that ive cleared that up, I'd just liek to say FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! Rockstar games creators of 100% hXc games like Grand Theft Automobile and Grand ThefT Autobmile 2 And Grand Theft Autobmile 3 and Grand Theft Automboile San Andreas And Grand Theft Autombile 4 oh and Grand Theft Automobile Vice City, sent me a free copy of their latest revolutionary masterpiece: BULLY!! Can you faggots imagine how happy I was to get this totally rad work of ART after having to play PEGGLE!? I mean I haven'te ven said anything about the game yet and you can tel its fuckin awesome, look at the cover thats my guy TOTALLY STICKIN IT TO THA MAN!

ROIT so the first thing I notice about this game is that it doesnt have any copy protection which is 100% bro move on Brostar's part. I mean not that it affected me much its not like I fckin pirated it or anything lol Rockstar sent me a free copy remember? so I boot it up w no strings attached and I was just fuckin amazed, the art of teachers (the man) tryin to oppress little kids that just want chiiiiill ohgod it tells a story all of us know, i fuckin identified with that shit IMMEDIATELY. Unlike some bullshit games like STalker: Clear the Sky where its like HOW DO YOU FUCKING EXPECT ANYONE TO RELATE TO A BIRD FUCKING YOUR WIFE its so stupid lol you know?


ok so graphics wise, yea, this game ain't quite up to giants like Halo 3 and Oblivion, but what it lacks in HDR it makes up for in atmosphere. Its totes immersive, really feels like you're in some bullshit school with fuckin nerds everywhere and teachers trying to tell you to DEW shit like "go to class." The decorations and posters on the walls and shit aer not only 100% masterfully drawn but aer also totally accurate. I mean look at that poster. If you don't vote for that guy you are a fuckin NERD. And it gets even better, sometimes totally cool bros will go around and spraypaint shit on the walls, making the atmosphere EVEN BETTER!!

shit you aint lyin

TARGETS ACQUIRED

i fully expect the premise of bully to revolutionize this bullshit industry. In other games, doin shit you want has a tendency to make the game end prematurely. In this very site you can witness bullshit microsoft snowmobile simulator 2000 give me a game over screen for boppin a nerd and shootin a monkey. fuck am I the only person that finds that to be wholly unreasonable? I'm just a GUY you know I ain't no superman. I see a nerd, I BOP em, can't help it. But that's what's so intense and hXc about BULLY. not only are you ENCOURAGED to bop nerds but it's the ENTIRE FUCKIN POINT OF THE GAME!!! HOLY SHIT!!!! Boppin nerds, scorin w hunnies, and stickin it to tha man ALL WITHOUT GETTIN CAUGHT! Fuck yea let's DEW THIS.

TURNS OUT RULERS DONT MAKE EFFECTIVE WEAPONS, NERD

OUUUGHASM WINS - FATALITY

so one of the major complaints against Brostar is that Bully is basicly just like Grand Theft automobile, except at a school. And I say that's fuckin BULLSHIT. look at those two screenshots above. what do you think that is? I bet you think its me twisting some nerds ear and giving some fattie a huge fuckin wedgie. well guess what you're fuckin wrong as always. that shit is INNOVASHION! spell it /w me nerds I-N-N-O-V-A-S-H-I-O-N. can you give anybody a wedgie in GTA4? no ? then shut the fuck up. I mean shit you can't even wedgie anybody in HALO 3!!! I feel bad sayin this but shit I think Halo 3 needs a sequel to address lack of character customization, wedgies and rape button. oh and furniture.

anyway what you see above is just a sample of all the super awesome nerdtalities and x-treme combat moves. you can like nerd and TACKLE A NERD and then bop him while he's on a the ground or pick up a baseball bat and take that nerd to SKEWL. The possibilities are like endless or some awesome shit like that. But ok, before I get into the the rest of the awesomeness in detail I gotta say man there is a LITTLE BIT of BULLSHIT in this game. First off, all the storyline missions in beginning, your guy is workin for NERDS. It's like What the fuck Brostar? You make this super awesome nerdboppin game then FORCE THE CHARACTER TO WORK FOR NERDS! Fuckin bullshit. and for even more immersion breaking UNREALISM when you finish one of these the nerd rewards you with a SKATEBOARD! What the FUCK would a nerd be doin with a skateboard? he sure as hell aint cool enoug to ride it and he dont got the balls to steal it from someone cooler than himself so just wtf I mean wtf brostar goddamn wtf. ok Ima let that bullshit slide but DONT LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN

lol wutcha got ther, science?

ok the second and last bullshit part about Bully is SCHOOL. Shit takes place in school roit? So the fuckin assholes try to make you go to class. if a school police catches you durin class hours you are FORCED to go to class and deal /w it. Which is 100% bullshit coz I know from personal experience that i never went to class when i was in school. totally unrealistic, immersion breaker, good game. to make it worse you actually HAVE TO DEW SHIT when you're in class. Asshole teacher wants me to mix some bullshit by hittin keys in the right order? yea i dont think thats how chemistry works but whatever lets see what happens

FUUUUUUUUUCK! (nice bloom though)

yea whatever like i care, school aint about classes

Later I got busted again because it turns out if you beat the shit out of girls it spawns a school police RIGHT NEXT TO YOU so its rly hard to finish beating up the girl AND escaping. its double bullshit because first off school police don't just SPAWN trust me I know I've been there, second off I managed to beat up the girl but no rape button? yea whatever I guess I'll just have to deal with ENGLISH CLASS where they make you unscramble an assortment of letters into a bunch of bullshit words but bro? Fuckin teacher don't even know Englsih



Yea I failed English because I guess my fuckin hasshole teacher doesnt think lol and shit are english words. i think this school needs better hiring standards but guys its chill, because I got the skateboard now and when im being threatened with school police? I just cruise away so tight. The skateboarding is so awseome you can like glide on rails and shit and jump and shit and oh man it's like x-treme skateboarding simulator, but before you assholes even say it it does not rip off tony hawk! Bully dont rip off NOTHIN. the way skateboarding is done is totally original what way is that you ask? its fuck off lets move on to more important shit

with all the bullYshit out the way (lol you see that) we can now focus on what makes this game a masterpise that will be remembered for years to come. there's more ways to be a DICK to nerd and jock and girl alike in Bully than there are ways to be a faggot in Final Fantasy 1-20. I'll list everything I can remember but shit it just ain't gonna cover the full spectrum of awXum and rly convey to you the sense of IMMENSITY that Bully gievs when you play.

DEAL

/W

IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw hell yea, stealing a fire extinguisher and hrawling my classmates was fuckin awesome, but you think it stops there? try sneaking into the girls dorm and throwing stink bombs everywhere. I even fuckin put a stink bomb in this bitch's locker at the gym and she opened it and fuckin THREW UP!! LOL!!! Ah shi man pushing people into trash cans, pulling fire alarm, snipin nerds w sling slot, shit where does it end? maybe it doesnt bro the fun seems fuckin limitless. Imo if they make a Sims Tripl (which they probably will shit always comes in tripl) they need to first play this game for at least 10,000 hours and take some motherfuckin notes aight? Coz sims is straight bullshit compared to bully. This game is so fuckin BROTASTIC that it even has a BEACH! Yea you can spend your days scopin out babes and chillin in the waves and rays of mother nature.

and at last we come to the hunnies. Well shit I didn't wanna end this on a negative note but the hunny card collection simulation seems PRETTY FUCKIN WEAK. Alroit, first off, it doesn't seem possible to actually SCORE. You just dew this little bitch ass kisses in public and shit and goddamn shit's a gay waste of time. And to make matters worse the shit has like a mandantory introduction quest THAT YOU CAN'T AVOID. Remember how I said the game makes you dew missions for nerds???? WELL THIS IS EVEN WORSE.

TURNS OUT BULLY DOES RIP OFF SOMETHING: KING KONG!!!!!

Fuckin bullshit game FORCED me to go get this fatty's chocolates for her when irl I'd have been like YEA HAHA like you need more calories you fuckin WHALE. Maybe you should stick to the regular whale diet of PLANKTON mother nature's unbuttered popcorn. MAYBE YOUD DROP A FEW POUNDS. But yea due to somebody at Rockstar being fat when he was a kid I had to do this bullshit quest, so I bring her the chocolates and GUESS WHAT HAPPENS???

GRODY!

FUCKING ASSHOLE IMMERSION KILLING BULLSHIT! WHY YOU MAKING ME MAKE OUT WITH KING KONG? Right next to the BATHROOM TOO where she probably goes to shit like every 5 minutes due to eating so much goddamn chocolate. Ah well what the fuck ever just if you get this game? I advise you to stay away from the chicks there's no rape button and they're fuckin bullshit.

Anyway if you look past a few minor instances of X-TREME FAGGOT BULLSHIT then Bully is a fuckin work of art. it goes where NO OTHER game has gone before and lets you relive your high school days as a TOUGH GUY. it probably even has some shit YOU didnt dew when you were a professional nerdbopper haha! not me though coz I pretty much did everything there is to fuckin do. So yea get this game like LAST WEEK, unless you're a fuckin nerd, in which case? PUT ON YOUR GLASSES AND DEAL /W YOUR SHITTY LIFE WHILE EVERYONE ELSE PLAYS BULLY

I rate this game: